Testimony – The Power Of Freedom Through Forgiveness

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I grew up in a Christian family. Growing up,I thought I knew freedom. I thought that being a Christian was an obligation. Every Sunday morning, I would force myself to wake up and attend church service even if I were too late.

Each week, I would memorize one verse so that I would get some reward. Then I’d later forget it.

My grandfather was a Sunday school teacher. I knew everything about the life of Jesus. But deep inside, I didn’t have a personal, intimate relationship with Him.

I lived a normal life. I don’t belong to a broken family. My family is complete but ironically I felt incomplete every-time I was at home.

I had super powers whenever I was with them, I suddenly became invisible! Yes, they give me all the material things I needed, except one, one thing that money can’t buy – time.

The Abuse

I wasn’t pretty, nobody loves me, I am a failure. As a child, I was verbally abused by my drunken uncle. If there’s one thing that would hurt more than physical abuse, it’s the words he would utter to me.

Things like I wasn’t pretty, nobody loves me, I am a failure, I’m the biggest disappointment, I wouldn’t succeed in the future. I was also a victim of cyber-bullying while I was at high school.

Wanting so badly to be appreciated, I would seek love from a person. I was in Senior High School when I encountered this Junior High school friend of mine.

I loved him so much, to the extent that my happiness depended on him. Though we were both Christians at that time, our relationship didn’t last very long, because of my trust issues.

I was so devastated, feeling that I wasn’t good enough. I tried everything to be whole again but I was so broken that time.

Filling the emptiness, the wrong way

To fill this emptiness inside me, I searched in all the wrong places such as having a night life, drinking alcohol, wrong relationships.

I rebelled against my parents. I didn’t take my studies seriously. And I was so bitter all the time.

For two years, I suffered severe depression and anxiety! I isolated myself from EVERYONE.

Those were the darkest days of my life. I felt so hopeless, helpless and hapless. I also attempted to end my life several times.

In every aspect, I felt so worthless because I allowed myself to be abused in many forms: physically, verbally, emotionally and even some episodes of sexual abuse.

Because of my past experiences, It was hard for me to accept myself. I was consumed by thinking about what people said behind my back.

I would do anything to earn people’s approval. Desperate to be accepted by others, I was also thirsty to be loved. I was so insecure.

It was extremely difficult for me to trust people because I thought no one would understand me, no one would accept me, no one will listen to me…and I can’t make right decisions. I believed all those lies for how many years!

God wrecks my plans

It took time for me to realize that God was allowing bad things to happen for a reason. He was changing the motives of my heart.

“Sometimes it takes a painful experiences to make us change our ways” (Proverbs 20:30 GNT)

God wrecked my plans because He saw that my plans were about to wreck me. As the Bible says in Genesis 50:20, what was intended by the enemy to harm you, God will transform it for your own good— that is, to save the lives of many people.

A Personal Encounter

Personally, I had an encounter with God. (Read: Healing Testimony: What if you may never wake up? )

After that, I was never the same. That day, I was honest to God. Crying out to Him, I told Him that I could not control my life anymore.

I asked for His forgiveness. I acknowledged that He sent Jesus to die on the cross for my sins, and I committed to living for God, and not for others.

If only I was just willing to let go of my self-centeredness, I knew that He could help me.

And yes, it is indeed true that if you seek Him first, all good things will come into their rightful places.

God promoted me in so many ways. I got intentional in winning people over to Christ, by sharing the gospel in different places. There came a point in time where even when my teacher was a priest, I stood up and preached!

Total freedom through forgiveness

And when I decided to wait upon the Lord, I had no enemies. I became whole again.

People could see the gradual changes in me and God helped me to focus on my studies. He also gave me a heart that is full of joy to serve Him!

I also got involved in ministry in our church, teaching the kids in Sunday School and leading the youth ministry.

God helped me to let go of people and things that has no contribution in my life. And above all, God helped me to forgive. Forgive myself and people who had done wrong to me, even if they don’t apologize for what they did.

I learned the meaning of total freedom through forgiveness. My prayer is in Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing”.

I don’t have to worry about my past, nor am I anxious for the answers to my future because just like what apostle Paul said, it is no longer I who lives in me, but Christ who lives within me.

God’s embrace

At my lowest point, God embraced me. He was my comforter during those times. He was my defender from people who made fun of me.

Above all, God is always reminding me that I am His child. Yes, I have failed many times, and I still stumble, but the grace of God is always available! He is always reminding me of the truth.

Through Him, I am loved, blessed, forgiven, highly favored, accepted and secured. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength and my hope is in Him.

He has given me total fulfillment and purpose and joy. I am not perfect and I still mess up, but God is so patient with me. He still loves all of me despite my failures.

He is always encouraging me by what He has promised me, that is forever written in my heart:

Ecclesiastes 3:11 “Everything is made beautiful in God’s time”

No hurt with Jesus

Of all whom I have loved, it is in Jesus that I didn’t get hurt. I surrendered my all to Him not because I quit, but because He won everything for me!

He didn’t give up on me, even if others and even I, gave up on myself, still, God haven’t forsaken me.

There’s no past too broken for God to heal. God’s love changed my life. It’s the same love that casts out all my fears and worries.

He is the answer to my questions. He’s my reward. It is in Him that I find rest. I am who I am today because of Him.

And honestly, apart from God, I can do nothing. I am nothing. My shortcomings are great but the love of God is greater. His mercy is new every morning.

I can’t brag my love for God because I fail Him daily, but I can brag His love for me because it never fails.

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  1. What an amazing testimony, thank you for sharing. Your life seems to parallel mine in many instances being the daughter of alcoholic parents.
    God is so Geat✝️ May you continue in the work that our Heavenly Father has ordained for you to do for his Glory ✝️

  2. I’m touched by your story because I’ve faced similar things like you. It’s like I’m struggling with my life, my past, my present and future. Seems like as I make 3 steps forward something or someone pulling me me 2 steps backwards. Struggling to keep my head above water to breathe and it’s one thing after another. It’s a battle spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically and financially.

  3. Dear God,
    I praise and give You thanks for this day.
    Today,this is the day my life will surely change. Amen.
    I ask You,Father,help me to forgive myself and people who had done wrong to me.
    And when I decided to wait upon the Lord,I had no enemies.I become whole again.I am love.I am blessed,accepted and secured.
    I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him.
    Psalm139 : 14 – I praise You,for I am fearfully and wonderfully made,wonderful are Your works,my soul know it very well
    I love You,Lord Jesus,
    I thank You,Lord Jesus,for You always walk beside me,never leave me alone or farsake me.
    In Jesus mighty name I pray.
    Amen and Amen.

  4. Beautiful Story honey, as I have wrestled with the same problems. Let Go and Let God, I am set free by the precious blood of Jesus.
    Thank you Lord
    Amen & Amen ??❤❤

  5. Dear Father God.
    I thank You,Father,for bless me with all the wonderful things and keep me safety to stand strong throughout my day.
    My hope is in You all day long.
    Today,I ask You,dear God,
    Please help me to forgive myself and peaple who had done wrong to me.
    Luke 23:34-“Father forgive them for they don’t know what they doing.
    Through our Lord Jesus Christ.
    I can do all things,who gives me the strength.
    I am love,I am blessed,accepted and secured.
    I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him.
    Psalm 139:14- I praise You,for I am fearfully and wonderfully made,Wonderful are Your works,my soul know it very well.
    I pray that today,dear God,
    You will be my refuge and my strength,and my hope is in You all day long.
    Thank You Lord Jesus,for this morning,it is peaceful day.
    It is the day You gave me to make my own.
    In Jesus mighty name I pray.
    Amen and Amen.

  6. Dear Father God.
    I thank you Lord,to teach me the meaning of Total Freedom through forgiveness.
    Please help me to forgive myself and people who had done wrong to me.
    Luke 23:34 “Father forgive them for they don’t know what they doing.
    I know that,through my Lord,Jesus Christ.I am loved,I am blessed,accepted and secured.
    I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him.
    I can do all things through Christ Jesus,who gives me the strength.
    Thank You Lord Jesus,for everthing You have done for me.
    My hope is in You all day long.
    In Jesus mighty name I pray.
    Amen and Amen.

  7. Father we thank you for loving us even if we don’t deserve your mercy but you picked me up from no where. What would I be without you. Thank you

    1. Dear Lord
      Great is your Faithfulness
      I can do all things thru Jesus Christ who strengthens me
      Please give me peace
      I give my life to you Lord
      Thank you Jesus
      Amen & Amen

  8. God you are the lifter of my head. You deserve the praise, and the glory. Without you I am nothing, come into my life and change anything that is not worthy of you. I commit my plans, my family, and everything to you, teach us to number our days in righteousness Amen.

  9. Amen. Thank you Lord for putting dreams in my heart. Thank you for preparing me, for molding me for the next level. Lord use me to bless others especially to my patients. Bless and protect my family. Heal us and give us good health and long life. In Jesus name, Amen!.

  10. I praise You my dear Father in Heaven.I thank you for loving me unconditionally,and being so faithful and so patient with me.
    Dear God,Please help me to forgive myself and people who had done wrong to me.
    Luke 23:34.”Father,forgive them for they don’t know what they doing.
    Thank you Lord,for teaching me the meaning of Total Freedom through forgiveness.
    I give all my self to You,for You are my life,my everything,my hope is in You all day long.
    I can do all things things through Christ Jesus,who gives me the strength.
    In Jesus mighty name I pray.
    Amen and Amen.

  11. Father with you all things are possible some days i have to call on you a little more so i can make it through the day,the day i ask you to use me for your will was the day onwards everything went haywire i started loosing stuff that i really needed to go about my day..now my both cars are down my glasses got destroyed and i don’t even know if i may loose the home at where i am right now because i already got an eviction notice so everything is upside down i do a lot of bible studying so i read a lot i drive myself to ministry 3 times a week now i feel like my world is turning up for God’s will to move in but i’m not giving up i struggle sometimes to know if i may still have a roof over my head but i try not to worry..1 John (4:4)Greater is he that is in me .than he that is in the world…and to end this my God has already have the victory… Amen

  12. I appreciate how you were able to present the steps that you took to bring you to this place in the world.
    Your journey continues without end.Just keep moving on and up.

  13. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. I looked at your photo and i see beauty. I’d like to say this…. satan is the prince of darkness and he tries to rule the world. He came to kill, steal and destroy but Jesus came so that we may have life and have it more abundantly. By saying that I just want to let you know that there is a war between good and evil and satan uses the very same people that are close to us to harm us and hurt us and make us feel worthless. But guess what, when you stand for Jesus, the devil shakes and falls. And forgiveness is so difficult to do but it is necessary. Don’t hate the individuals that hurt you but hate the devil because the individuals are just the devil’s toy to get to you. I admire your strength and I pray that God uses you in a mighty way.

  14. A wonderful Testimony, where one has everything in life but feel nothing without Christ. In the world generally, it is state of lack that makes people pray.

    Simply, with God in us, we are complete in all aspects.

    Jesus, my lord I love you so much that it can never be measured or expressed in any form. It is just a personal thing that one will know when he is fully in HIM. Amen